It's Just Abbey

In an effort to blog more I am going to start doing book reviews of the books I read. They won’t be new books by any means but whatever. No wait, I mean this is all part of my campaign to get people to read more. Books! Books are the answer!

READ A BOOK!

And now, your feature presentation!

I respect the hell out of anyone who can make something out of themselves after being saddled an Ohio based childhood. Gavin Creel, Drew Carey, Jamie Farr, Neil Armstrong, Woody Harrelson and other people that form a confusing, eclectic, and inspiring list.

Not you Ben Roethlisberger. You suck.

Anyway, I just discovered that one of my favorite authors, Christopher Moore, was raised in Toledo, Ohio. Excellent! If he can make it, by God, so can I! Right? Right!

I just finished his book Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal.

This book was clearly the product of the thought, “What happened to Jesus between age 1 and 33?” Well apparently he and his best buddy Biff travel the world learning Eastern beliefs. It is almost accurate by ways of the bible but takes some liberties in the historical movement of Buddhism (which the author admits to later.) It chronicles many great moments in Jesus’ life in a very humorous way. It also drops random Christian song lyrics and phrases that always inspire at least a chuckle. Example: Jesus casually tells Biff the he loves the little children. All the children of the world.

Moore drops in back stories about all the notable figures in Jesus’ life such as John the Baptist who has a habit as a child to forcibly dunk people under water to cleanse their sins and Mary Magdalene, Maggie, who isn’t a whore (I’m looking at you Pope Gregory I…) but as a smart cunning woman who battles both sides of unrequited love. He also adds in little things like how rabbits became associated with Easter. It has a lot to do with a drunken Jesus and the soothing fur of a tiny bunny.

The book is insanely funny from start right up until the last 10%. What? You know how the story ends. Jesus gets nailed to a cross. I may be a morbid, twisted soul but I’m not sure how anyone could make a guy being stapled to a tree funny. It is a laugh out loud book with a bushel of Christian mythology. As a theology nut, I was enthralled. I can recommend the book to anyone who loves Jesus, has read the bible, likes good/funny books or just needs something to read. I have a feeling that Lamb could offend some people if they really wanted to be, especially if they think Bartholomew wasn’t the village idiot of Nazareth.

If Jesus ain’t your bag, then I suggest his book Blood Sucking Fiends and You Suck. The next book Bite Me comes out in March. Vampires, kids! VAMPIRES! And if you are reading this Mr. Moore, I would like an advance copy of Bite Me. I will give you a glowing review. I promise!

Rating: 4 out of 5 cupcakes!

Next book (if I’m allowed to talk about it) is Fight Club!