It's Just Abbey

You either hate April Fool’s Day or you OMG love it. Anyone that likes playing pranks is easy to spot and you already know who they are. Anyone who will punch you for being a jerk to them is also a pretty easy one to spot.

But don’t you think that pranking friends is kinda played out if not just mean? What the hell is a practical joke? There is nothing practical about playing jokes on a friend. Unless of course they bet you $500 you can’t prank them. Then if you pull it off, you have $500. Practical. Making people mad or cry isn’t practical at all! Aren’t these people our friends? So I propose a change.

April Cut A Bitch Day!

It is the day we all go around seeking vengeance on an enemy! Yes! All laws are off the table (except murder… That holiday is in June) and you can do as you please!

-Your old roommate bury old dishes in the backyard so he wouldn’t have to wash them? Take a hammer to his Playstaion.

-Get cheated on? Time to steal their front door.

-Some kid broke your Skip it? Find her house and burn it down.

-The guy that told you that you were ugly in high school? Slash his tires.

-That girl that told you that that guys was TOTALLY into you? Slash her tires too for good measure.

-Drive thru lady at McDonald’s give you a quarter pounder when you CLEARLY asked for a double quarter pounder? Find her house and burn it down.

-Some girl steal your boyfriend? Find HIS house and burn it down. Why are you mad at her?

Okay, I am going to stop there because most of these answers result in burning down house or serious car damage. I need anger management, I know but who can afford that? I am paying too many court bills for arson and vandalism.

Short blog today, why? NERD ALERT! I am currently on my way to go meet Christopher Moore (::squee!!!::) and get my copy of Bite Me signed. I have a few things to discuss with him. He is a fan of spelling Abbey without the E. Gross. His only downside… Fun fact though, Mr. Moore penned the novel Fool. Appropriate, no?

Happy pranking everyone! Make sure you keep your friends close. They are the ones who will be bailing you out of jail!