It's Just Abbey

So I had a crazy crazy weekend. How crazy? I currently can’t move. That’s how crazy. Crazy enough for me not to be able to string these thoughts out into a coherent blog! Woo! Get pumped and let me break it down for ya list style.

1) I videotaped my dad putting bees into a hive

Scene: My dad and I fitted with netted hats. He had 4 boxes of bees. Got that? Boxes. Of. Bees. That’s right everyone, they send people bees in boxes. What kind of boxes? These kind.

How do you get those bees out of the box and into the homemade hive you have so lovingly crafted? Whelp, you rip off the top and shake them out like money in a piggy bank. I have footage of my father shaking out four individual boxes of bees. The first shot is short. He started shaking and I ran away. I don’t care how much protection I am in. If I learned anything from Looney Tunes other than which way to turn at Albuquerque, it was that a swarm of bees is not to be taken lightly.

So on a Friday night I stood in the cool wind while bees crawled all over me. Bam.

I put together a video for it but between chopping out all the audio because my parents' neighbors are rednecks with loud, uncontrollable dogs and having a power struggle with Windows Movie Maker I ended up not being too terribly happy with it. 10 points for anyone who gets the presence of the Blind Melon song.

2) I ran a 5K

Did you read my last post? No. Go do it. This point will make WAY more sense.

3) I helped Hoppie dig up sod.

Were we burying a body? Answer: No. Why would I blog about that? Although, if I up and decide to move to Mexico... You know what, never mind. Moving on. Do you guys know what really isn’t fun? Answer: digging up sod. Honestly it was just exhausting. Chopping up a lawn and digging out the grass. You know what is heavy? Answer: Plods of grass and dirt. It is two days later and my back and arms are killing me. Hoppie dug them out and I carried them away. Let me tell you guys. Gardening is tough. This was so much easier when I was watching my dad do it and while not helping at all! Hmph.

4) I watched the Streamy Award Show.

MIIIIIISSTAAAAAKE!

5) Arrested Development Marathons

Holla! This is an addiction that Brown got me on. Say what you will, that man has taste in television.

6) I think I am bailing on Script Frenzy

I'm not sure script writing is for me. Plus, I forgot how busy April is for me. Birthdays, races, classes, etc. I barely have time to run after work most days. I have been so burnt out when I sit down to work on the script I just end up doing this:

LAURA entered the room looking distressed and craving a taco. She looks to TONY who is eating a taco.

Then for seemingly unknown reasons TONY runs LAURA though with a broadsword until the life leaves her eyes. TONY finishes his taco and the jumps off a cliff.

For a romantic comedy there is only room for one random, violent death. I dunno what it is but by the time I sit down to write I just hate everyone in the script and want them to die. Then I kill them. In strange and gory ways. I suppose this is how Chuck Palahniuk started.

7) I got a new phone!

I love getting new phones! It is so exciting for the first few weeks. I always swear that this time I am going to keep my phone safe and happy. Not a scratch on it. Never drop it. Never throw it.

Speaking as an anger crazed, clumsy person this never lasts long. I end up dropping it/throwing it in rage and then giving up hope after one scratch. But isn’t the first drop the worst? It just topples in slow motion. Your whole life stops. Your useless hands do nothing as you watch in horror. BAM! Nooooooo! You inspect it to see the damage. A tiny scratch always looks so huge.

Then somewhere down the line you find yourself in a Verizon store explaining to the nice man helping you that, no, taping your track ball into your Blackberry actually works. You just have to clean it out every few weeks. Could I have traded my broke ass Blackberry in for a new one? I shinier one? Yes. But are you going to trade your puppy in when he loses a leg? That's what I thought.

I don’t care what anyone says. That phone had character. RIP my pink Blackberry. Please welcome into the world, Abbey’s Blackberry Storm2.

8) I have decided to ride my bike to work

This idea hasn’t been completely thought out. I’ll admit that. But have you see gas prices? Yeesh! It would also translate into my training and being healthy-ness. Now if I can just find a way to swim more often I can TOTALLY start training for the Iron Man. What? What’s that? Just train for a triathlon and not the Iron Man? Uh, no. You gotta risk it to get the biscuit! BREAK!

Gah. So there it is. My brain just threw up this blog and you get to bask in its awesomeness. I have a dueling books post coming up and will for sure get to my BFFriday profile of Hoppie. It is his birthday on Friday so it will make it all the more special. He’ll feel so loved (read: embarrassed) because if I can’t help it, I will blog it full of sugary, sap with rainbows and unicorns and there is nothing anyone can do to stop me! MAWHAHAHAH!

(I feel controlling my own blog has gone to my head. I should not be allowed to wield this much power. Whateves! Back to laughing like a lunatic.)

MAWHAHAHAHA!