It's Just Abbey

Word of caution. My little sister is turning 6 (wasn’t she just learning to crawl?!) and my “baby” brother is moving to Fort Hood. Both events happening tomorrow and I am in the middle of a world class freak out as the older sister so readers beware. Don’t worry though, I am quelling the emotions with tequila and chocolate. As long as quelling doesn’t evolve into fueling, I think we are all safe. But more on those things later. Why?

Because last night was the final night of Cake Decorating 101!

I showed up with a double layer cake and a bunch of frosting that really looked like Playdough. Bright colors, a little tough and very, very tasty. On nom nom. You didn’t know Playdough was tasty? Try it. You’ll love it! I promise. Immediate drama because I got out of the car to race inside (always late Abbey! Shame shame) and I managed to swing my cake in the container and it smashed against the side. NOOOOOOOOO! I got inside as fast as I could and fixed it the best I could. A few spatulas, my mother’s help and a prayer salvaged it with minimal damage. Whew.

I cannot say the same for the poor woman in the back of the class. I don’t know how she managed it but she dropped her cake. Just, plop. Dead cake. It was tragic. We all looked with no words of advice. What do you say to something like that? “Oh no, ma’am! You ruined your final exam cake. Tough luck!” We couldn’t tell if she was going to laugh or cry. She somehow put the piece of her broken cake back together and made something decent in the end. Overall, she held it together well. I would have snapped and taken a running leap out the nearest window. That statement is much less dramatic sounding if you know we were on the first floor. Pretend we were on the seventh. DRAMA!

So my mom and I sat there ready to decorate the hell out of our cakes. We learned how to make vines and leaves and sweet peas. That wasn’t the issue. Sweet peas and vines were easy! Of course we both took turns complaining about how hard we sucked but whatchya gonna do? It was the damn roses. You know? The frosting roses from hell.

Now, we know how to make these but I think we were nervous. This was the last cake! Final exam! We broke roses, dropped them, smashed them, and ate them out of fear. Ug. I don’t work under pressure! My mother and I were about to have aneurysms! There were veins in our foreheads were pulsing and all the blood was rushing to our faces. All we had to do was take the rose off the rose nail and onto the cake. Easy? Yes! No! STOP FALLING FACE DOWN!

We toiled into the last minutes of class to finish our fabulous cakes and did it! Huzzah! We even got certificates claiming our accomplishment. Where did I put that resume? I have something to staple to it…

My mom’s cake was pink with a white border. She made three gorgeous roses and had them piled in the middle with a vine and leaf pattern similar to mine and to be fair I copied that design out of a book (kinda.) We were pretty stoked about our final cakes. As we were packing up our things my mom plopped the lid over her cake and SQUISH her roses lost altitude. NOOOOOOO! They were fine one second, and pulverized the next.

Hey Duff, from Ace of Cakes… I’m not sure I am ready for that job yet. Too many terrible things happen and I just can’t take that kind of stress over dessert. Yet. Keep me in mind sir! I will one day be able to handle the daily dilemmas that you are your awesome crew face. One day I shall be one of you. Oh yes.

So other than some cake smashing and rose flattening my mother and I survived our cake decorating challenge. We learned quite and bit and got some bonding time out of it too. Win win I say. We have plans to open our own cake decorating business. Check the papers, we’re gonna be huge!

But Abbey! What will you blog about on Wednesdays now that your class is over? Glad you asked. Guess who signed up for cake decorating 201? THIS KID! Ah yeah! The fun continues in two weeks with royal icing, fondant, and God knows what else. I can tell you this. It will be four more weeks or tears, rage and sugar induced comas. Stay tuned!