It's Just Abbey

In efforts to expand our respective horizons my mother and I signed up for a cake decorating class.

“Just buy the kit!” they said. “It’s all you’ll need!” they said. LIARS! Smell that? Smells like burning pants!

So my mom and I march into my old high school for this class and I tried to find the room. My mom kept saying, “You did go here right?” every time I looked at the room numbers like they were written in hieroglyphics.

We finally stumbled into the correct room and the class began. I will say that looking back I’m not sure what either of us really expected and I can say the same for most of that poor class. I think we all had the same vague idea of how much fun we were going to have without realizing that stat building in real life is nothing like stat building in the Sims. When we learn culinary skills, it takes effort. We were all handed booklets and started oohing and ahhing over the pretty cakes not realizing that most of that stuff we were about to learn how to do. Seriously, I don’t know what we thought we were enrolling in when we signed up but for some reason when our flighty, slightly spazzed out teacher told us we would need be able to make a frosting rose in only three short classes we freaked.

Now, for clarity purposes, THIS is what we will be doing…

OH DEAR CHRIST IN HEAVEN! I’m not sure about the rest of that class but I don’t think I am coordinated enough to write HAPPY BIRTHDAY on a cake let alone design art on one. Again, I have no idea what I thought I was signing up for but I am very excited to actual give it a shot. Plus it will be some awesome bonding time with my mom. Let’s face it. This woman did midnight construction paper runs for me and helped make countless last minute posters in order for me to even graduate from the same school we were both sitting in. The least I can do is make a few thousand malformed blobs and pretend they are roses. But the rose thing is my only concern. Between the two of us we just ooze creative genius. (Ain’t that right Steady Eddy? Yeah, I remembered. HI MOM!) We are both going to clean house during the stars lesson and making 3D clowns.

The syllabus said: “Clown Head Provided” This may not be the most demented thing I have ever read on a syllabus (First prize goes to: “Read The Agony and the Ecstasy”) but it is in the top 5.

The part that seemed to irk the whole class was that we were going to need to make our own frosting, make cakes to decorate and so forth. Not shocking once you think about the class itself but that is usually something they tell you up front, you know? They said all we needed was the kit. I probably would have still signed up for it had it said, “Also requires some at home baking” but a few of the people in the class seemed completely blindsided, afraid and I am pretty sure there will be one less woman there next week. She looked piiiiissed.

Our assignment for next week is to bring in a character cake. Basically, anything that isn’t round or square. Thank you mom for mentioning erotic cakes because now I am wondering where I can find a boob shaped pan. Well, I guess it would need to be two boobs since one is just round. Or I can just go to Spencer’s and get a cake pan shaped curiously like male genitalia but I think if I start covering that in red stars it will stop being funny and just look infected. That would be a total buzz kill.

I can’t wait for next week. I love hanging out with my mom and I love making food. This class is going to be a… wait for it… CAKE WALK! Yeah, I said it!