| « Big Brother's Battle Bots Bonanza | Information Vacations! Book one today! » |
I won't follow you on Twitter because you're a jerk and I'm a bitch.
07/28/09
08:23:41 pm by Abbey, Categories: Lists, Rants , Tags: abbey's judgemental, hoi polloi, lists are fun, ranting, twitter I won't follow you on Twitter because you're a jerk and I'm a bitch.
Yes. I am a member of the group think, hoi polloi. I have a Twitter account. But that won't stop me from being a snob about my account settings. It seems more than likely, anyone who starts following me on Twitter is just an airhead spam site or a sexy lady account that gets suspended after a few hours. But if you think that you aren't a spammer or a sexy lady then let me explain to you why I won't follow you back.
~If you can’t spell, I won’t add you.
I am one of those snotty grammar/spelling bitches. If you are tweeting with complete disregard to spelling I will just be annoyed. Words like ‘ur’ and substituting an ‘r’ for ‘are’ makes me want to shake you until your eyeballs fall out. “But Abbey,” you say, “there are only 140 characters and I cant fit my thoughts into that restriction!” Well jackass, if you can’t fit your thoughts into that, start a blog.
Also the basics. There/their/there and to/two/two. Learn to use them. Seriously.
~If you are link obsessed, I’ll block you.
I don’t care. Oh my goodness, I really don’t care. I don’t want to find new ways get followers, I don’t want new awesome ideas and I really don’t want to follow you if you are just posting headlines. I have a Twitter account. Its safe to assume I can function Google fairly well. If I want followers, awesome ideas or headlines I will Google them.
~If you just repost trending topics to find followers, I will loathe you.
This is self explanatory. Why do you want all these followers? YOU AREN’T SAYING ANYTHING!
~If the number of people you follow is vastly larger than the number of people that follow you, I will simply roll my eyes.
This just never makes sense to me. Mostly because these people never update. They only stalk 10,000 people and never say a word… Creepy! Which leads me to…
~If you never @ reply to ANYONE I will not @ reply to you. Or add you.
I know that anyone with a Twitter account is already a narcissistic tool, but c’mon people. At least try to seem less self involved than you actual are. Try. Please. There are so many things wrong with our generation, lets try to tone down the “LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME” mentality. Although, with the existence of MySpace, will forever thwart that battle.
~And the final one. If all you do is link your blog, I will go to your blog and not comment. Burn.
Yes. We all have a blog. Yes. We all need to link our blogs somewhere. But if all your tweets are about your blog, I don’t care. You have got to have more than going on than your damned blog. And if you don’t, I REALLY don’t want to follow you.
7 comments
Seriously, though, I agree with your assessment of Twitland.
For example, "I have a dentist appointment in the morning. FML."
Everyone has to see the dentist once in a while, it's not that bad of a thing. Finding out that you have cavities even though you have been brushing and flossing everyday is a reason for a FML.
~Katie~
Anyway, using "your" instead of "you're" and vice-versa are probably the most common mistakes out there. It doesn't bother me...much.
I think some people don't ever use "you're." They will always type "your" no matter what. I've never seen you're where your should be. Its more commonly the other way around. It really is just one of those major pet peeves of mine because you're is two words. You are. Its like completely forgetting a in a sentence (see what I did there? :P) And don't even get me started on "it's" and "its."
Leave a comment
Become a fan on Facebook! Do it! Click the logo below!
XML Feeds
