It's Just Abbey

I know you all are wondering, “Abbey, what is going on with Patrick the Strawberry Plant!?” I have been getting THOUSANDS of emails a day asking about him.

Not really, just go with me.

Patrick is flourishing! He has never looked better. My mom was all concerned when she saw his first picture because he looked all thin and gangly but I assured her I would take care of him. I feed him and he has a wonderful little home to thrive in. But we haven't gone without our share of stormy weather. I accidentally left him in the frost once but he pulled through. Everyone was sure I killed him because everyone has a TON of faith in my green thumb abilities but he made it. Why? Well, maybe the frost wasn’t as hard as I thought and maybe Patrick was stronger than he looked in the roots department. You could venture those guesses. I still hold that putting my Spock action figure up next to him for three nights brought him back to life.

LIVE LONG AND PROSPER PATRICK!

(If I had a Bones action figure he would have trumped Spock. Although he is a doctor not a botanist. Do botanists work with strawberry plants? Brb, googling! Answer: I dunno I got sidetracked and… Oh! I wanna play more Plants vs. Zombies. Focus Abbey!)

There was only one other sad moment with Patrick: His first batch of flowers. I don’t know what everyone’s experience is with strawberry plants but you are supposed to pluck off the first few flowers your plant produces so it can focus on growing out. This was heart breaking. I woke up to see Patrick had four beautiful flowers blossoming. I was so happy! I danced around and texted a few people. What? I don’t have a lot going on in my super exciting life right now, back off.

Then it dawned on me. I had to kill them. I took a few deep breathes and proceeded to take each flower from Patrick and cast them aside like… like… I don’t even know! It was so traumatic! I was hurting him but it was for his own good, right? ARG! How are people my age parents!? THIS WAS TORTURE!

I just watched him for a few days hoping I hadn’t killed him or made him hate me. I loomed in the corners, letting him be himself and get over the deflowering process. No one likes being deflowered without asking. Ah shit, I am the Big Ben of strawberry plants. Excuse me while I go cry myself to sleep for a week.

But that storm passed and Patrick now has five little strawberries growing and two more on the way. He is a very healthy weights and looking better than ever. He is happy and so am I. One day he will birth a luscious, juicy strawberry baby and I am going to EAT IT! Oh. That’s demented. Awesome.

Patrick's first Ultrasound!
(Who has two *green* thumbs and needs a life? THIS GIRL!)