It's Just Abbey

The blonde stands up clutching her elbow. Her eyes dart from person to person wildly as her head hangs to the ground. Her whole body twitched wildly. She opened her mouth and no sound came out. She looked out of place and uncomfortable. Someone handed her a headset with an adjustable microphone. She sighed in relief and said with a hushed voice…

Hi Internet. Yesterday, I started playing World of Warcraft again.

Gasp!

Background check. I started playing a few years back and buried myself in my room roaming the vast lands doing quest after quest. I too once thought it was a pointless game and the only people who played were basement dwelling freaks. Well, I was right about the last part to a degree but once I start playing it was impossible to stop playing.

Now, when I initially started playing I was in a friends basement (yeah yeah) and three boys over my shoulder pointing at all kinds of things on the screen explaining all the buttons and controls. “Left, left! Go left!” This had happened after a long argument about why anyone would think World of Warcraft was worth so many wasted hours. I broke down and decided to give it a go. I rolled a troll and was off and running. After about level five, I just got annoyed with the pointing and advising. “I SAID LEFT!” If there’s one thing I hate its being coached. Backseat gaming infuriates me. I didn’t get the bug that night but I did get a small taste of curiosity. After a few days I logged back in and played on my own. It was amazing! Exploring, chatting and grinding. So much better without someone telling you what to do.

Two years and several hundred man hours later I finally logged off for the final time. Goodbye Orgrimmar… The horde will have to do without me. Hopefully they would survive without their trusty troll rogue.

Last night I decided to give it another shot. You know, just for funzies. I even started playing Alliance for reasons I still don't fully understand. As a loyal Horde I felt a twinge of regret but ignored it. I rolled a gnome and started my killing spree. Then I looked up and it was 2am. Goram it! I didn’t wanna sleep, I didn’t wanna eat… I just wanted to play! I wanted to raid, to farm, to grind. AH! It felt so good to play again. A part of my soul was refilled and I—

Wait a sec. I had quit playing and lived a normal life. What was happening? I couldn’t imagine how I survived without playing!

I finally came to the conclusion that Blizzard is an evil evil company. They created a game that is playable by anyone. From newb to leet, you can enjoy the game. It like the Sims or Spore. You have no idea why you would start playing until you install it. After the game is on your computer you can’t stop. You have no family history of addiction but it is now starting with you. Somewhere down the road your grandchild will be in the doctor and explaining that you were a wild WoW addict. The doctor will shake his head solemnly and run a few more tests.

It is the beginning of the end for me. I’m not sure if I will be able to stop anytime soon. I have too many enablers in my life. Gamer enablers are the worst kind. “C’mon… Just one raid….” But it is never just one raid.

It’s never just one raid….

June has claimed the lives of many icons. Some expected, some surprises, some way too soon and all dearly missed. From sex symbols to classic Hollywood. No one escaped a loss over the last few weeks and it is with a heavy heart we let these people become part of history and no longer with us.

So, no more “Who’s next?” or “It happens in THREES!!” Only a sad, “Rest in Peace.” Well, in some cases a lighthearted goodbye. You will all be missed.

So the heat is blazing down and it’s time to lather up to lounge by the pool and/or hide in the confines of your home in a hoodie with the AC blasting. Either way, one of my favorite summer pastimes is reading. It’s my favorite because I can read anywhere! I can read on a boat, I can read with a goat! I can read on a train… okay, you see where this is going.

But there is a slight problem. I can only wander the bookstore so many times before they kick me out for loitering. So I’d like to know what your summer reading looks like. Or what do you think I should be reading? I read anything. And I mean everything. I am tossing around the idea of doing book reviews and the like on this site starting with Naamah’s Kiss (insert fangirl squee of delight.) It’s time to get my read on!

The following is an example of stellar song compiling for racing purposes. ;P

The goal is to finish mid way through You’re Going Down. I plan on breaking my 28:09 PR so if I hear House of Wolves, I failed. Seems like a good way to make me hate a song… But no worries! I’m sure nothing bad will go down! What’s the worst that could happen?! ::knock on wood::

Alright. I’ll admit it. I went and saw Fast and Furious. I have no idea if I liked the film or not. I didn’t hate it but I didn’t love it. It wasn’t bad but it wasn’t great.

I will state that I have seen all three prior movies. The first out of boredom and the second two were watched by a proverbial gun to the head. The Fast and the Furious (the first one) wasn’t terrible. I actually was mildly amused by it. 2 Fast 2 Furious was… I dunno. I forget. Not memorable at all for me. All I took away from that movie was that I REALLY wanted a hot pink car. And the third movie Tokyo Drift, aka 3 Fast 3 Furious, was shiny and didn’t have Paul Walker in it. As you can see, I am clearly a HUGE fan of these movies.

So I went to this movie more as a joke and something to do rather than to see an enjoyable film. So I got my tub of overly buttered popcorn and settled in for something to laugh about on the ride home. I was mildly surprised to realize I actual enjoyed watching this film. My world wasn’t rocked but I sat through the whole film without letting my mind wander. Plus the Wolverine and Transformers preview beforehand made the geek in me too excited to doze off. They gave me hope. They were like an amazing pregame before an okay football game.

It had a decent storyline that kept a person who knows nothing about cars engaged. It only had a few moments where someone who hadn’t seen the first three would get confused. Overall, it was a decent popcorn flick. It is also very clear how this movie will translate into a video game. Several of the scenes I felt like I was playing without a controller in my hand. It was quite an odd sensation.

I will say that as a woman I am always a bit annoyed by these kinds of movies because there is a complete lack of strong women. It is a movie for men by men. There was only one strong woman character. The only other woman in the film was twig thin, throwing herself at Vin Diesel constantly and had character structure thinner than her waist. Same problem I had with He’s Just Not That Into You. The men are built up with plenty of background and emotion. You only need to know one thing about the women. They are pretty and get sad a lot. But I since this is a dude movie, I will make that observation and carry on.

The parking lot for the theater was almost the most amusing part. It was filled with dozens of tricked out foreign cars and killer paint jobs. I would scoff at them for being posers but then I had a thought. I imagine it is much like when nerds like me go see Harry Potter. Yeah, we have wands, cloaks, silly glasses and a mild knowledge of Latin but we aren’t actually magical and going on awesome adventures.

It was hardly a movie I think will break any box office records, but it was a relatively fun movie to sit back and watch on a rainy night. Fast and Furious: Take it or leave it.

The government wants to take away my AK-47!! Clearly this means we are all being oppressed and need to riot in the streets. Who wants to go on a shooting rampage with me? /obvious sarcasm

Holy cats. Everyone needs to take a chill pill and realize what is happening. Yes. They want to ban the possession of assault weapons. No. They don't want to quarter troops in our homes and over tax our tea. This is a simple case of the government doing what it was designed to do: protect us from ourselves.

I am a redneck, country girl in blood and soul. I love me some ammunition. The smell of gunpowder should be a perfume. Hunting is a serious passion that I wish I could indulge in more. That said, I think they should limit our access to these assault weapons. I see no reason that anyone should own one. What's the point? Are you gonna take down a deer with an Uzi? Not if you plan you eat it. If someone is robbing your house is there a difference between grabbing your rifle and grabbing your M16? Yes. The latter will do the job and cost you thousands in remodelling.

The second amendment was put in place so we could protect ourselves and hunt. There is no arguable reason (other than the zombie invasion) to own an assault weapon. I will site the wackos who have shot up schools and families for no good reason. Sorry Anne Frank, but all people are NOT inherently good. We are unstable crackpots who need supervision. I will always believe that. I hate to admit this, but if that means limits on the firearms I can buy, so be it. Mass killings and useless violence needs to slow down. And other than the recent event in Pittsburgh, that's what it shall do.

After that jaded remark I will also add that I don't believe giving the government an inch will incline them to take the mile. This will always be a government of the people, for the people. We still have a voice. But we all have to remember that the state of the world is terrible and people are trying to fix it any way they can. Change does not always mean the death of the American Way. We all need to make sacrifices for the greater good. AIG is a great example of how not to do that.

America, we need to hand over our assault weapons and calm the hell down. Innocent people are dying at the hand of lax laws and careless judgments. No one is coming over to pry the hunting rifle from our hands. And if they do, put up a fight then. This economy is teaching us many lessons. Today's lesson: Pick your battles.

(Pun intended.)

Disclaimer: This is an extremely touchy subject. If you are prone to fits of rage with anyone who says something you dislike, kindly move along.

Okay. I want to start this out by stating that I really don't want to do this, but I've been pushed. So I will attempt to keep this short and sweet.

Beyonce is not a single lady. Yes? Johnny Depp is not a pirate. Agreed? Just because Rihanna sings about being a strong, no bullshit woman doesn't mean she is always gonna be one. Just because Chris Brown plays up a clean cut image doesn't mean he is actually a white knight.

Arg. Where do I start?

First off, unless you have actually been beaten by a man don't act like you are smarter than victims of abuse and/or that you understand their pain. And before you ask emotional abuse doesn't count ladies. Every woman who has ever been in a relationship can claim emotional abuse. I will vouch for that. But a man pinching your tummy and telling you to lay off the cupcakes is not (repeat NOT) the same as being slugged in the face.

Second, Chris Brown will continue to work soon and we will all have to deal with it. Sex offenders, abusers and drug addicts all have jobs. They may be horrible dogs and need stricken from public but they still have to support themselves and pay bills. Tough to swallow but its the truth. His job just happens to be very public and reliant on the peoples' love of him. If he wants to throw a monkey wrench in his clean image by "allegedly" beating his girlfriend, that's no one elses problem but his own.

Bill Ward, the editor in chief for Billboard said, "People's memories are short and I think sometimes an amazing hit can trump people's expectations." Sad but true. In three months, several of these anti-Chris Brownists will be jamming in their car to his latest track without a second thought. We are an ADD generation and something else dramatic will happen in Hollywood to make us forget whats-his-name punched that one chick a while back. I'm not saying its right, its just an observation.

We need to let this die. We do. I know blogging about it is completely counter productive to my cause but I don't care right now. There are women dying everyday of abuse and men going along without even a slap on the wrist (pun intended.) The fact that this case was reported is the first step in the right direction. Rihanna is a twisted role model for women hiding and scared. She is showing that there is something you can do. Her choices afterwards are no one elses business but her own. She may go back to him, marry him, have a ton of kids and a great career yadda yadda ya. She may go back to him and get herself killed in an argument about meatloaf. She may leave him and never look back. Either way, it is up to her and her alone. The fact of the matter is that she stood up and said something. That alone took some guts. He is being charged and his dumb ass has been exposed. There isn't much more anyone can do outside of that. That's just life.

Abuse is not punishable by death, no matter how much anyone thinks it should be. And victims are not always the ball busting saints we wish they were. But please, continue to rant and rave that you are right, she is an idiot, he needs shot in the face. Its a lot easier to coach the game from the couch than actually play it, isn't it?

I'll be upfront and say I enjoyed the hell out of Watchmen. It was three hours of awesome. But the last thing the web needs is another nerd babbling about the glory that is Watchmen.

This is a public service announcement. A simple message: Think before you speak.

I understand people not loving this movie. Why? Because I come from an area of the US that Varsity Blues was based on. Farming and football are the cornerstones. The quarterbacks mother is not a grain fed country gal though. No. She is a Gucci toting socialite with nothing better to do than throw cocktail parties. Its a complicated region. Sitting in that theater I felt almost uneasy knowing I was surrounded by people looking at the screen in disgust and debating getting a refund. It was much like watching American Pie with your parents. You are enjoying it, but they are uncomfortable as hell. In a conservative town like my own gratuitous boob shots are amazing, but a penis? No. Never. A blue one? Shun. Shun the movie and all who love it. Who knows what that movie was about? Too much penis!

Example: There was one girl on girl moment near the beginning of the film and from behind me I heard, "That's what I'm talkin' about! Yeah!" And that same fellow made a sickened sound at the sight of blue genetalia. Oh, I should also mention this town in mildly convinced homosexuality is something you can catch like the flu or chicken pox. Full frontal male nudity had some people fumbling for their anti bacterial hand sanitizers.

There were also a few moments during that movie that I lost all faith in humanity. The key moment being when a woman behind me exclaimed wildly, "I didn't know Nixon ran for a third term! Fascinating!" Believe me. You can't make this shit up.

Watchmen may not be the movie for you America, but think very hard as to why you don't enjoy it. Too much violence? Too sexual? A little off base and hard to follow? Those are valid arguments because even the biggest fan could argue those points. Was it simply long? Was it 'retarded'? Too much wang and not enough tits? Made no sense and anyone who likes it is clearly a liberal moron? If I hear any more of this I will most likely start punching people in the crotch.

As a clueless meat head said as we were leaving, "It was three hours of absolute shit. Didn't make any sense and was a waste of time and money." We get it. Next time, don't shout that into your phone while you hold the door open for the herd of die hard fans leaving. You sound like a jackass. All movies can't be Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Next time do some research, asshat and you'll avoid silly mistakes like that.

It is very well know that reality tv is far from reality. It is a show full of perfectly cut clips and audio to create drama, villains and, more often than not, idiots. These shows are created to entertain and amuse.

But what about the inspirational reality shows? Specifically The Biggest Loser. A show based on family and friends competing to lose weight in a healthy manner and teaching everyone valuable lessons. Its something I enjoy, as a woman, because it goes against all of those trick diets and pills helping you drop unreal amounts of weight in mere days! In a culture of get rich and skinny quick, this show is refreshing with its lesson that hard work pays off it.

That being said, a recent article was published in Runners World by Brian D. Sabin, "The Truth Behind Loser's Race." The article reveals that Dane and Carli Patterson cheated to finish a marathon. Admittedly these two didn't cheat on their own free will but because they were pressured for the sake of good tv. They were offered a ride for a few miles to speed them up, and they took it. That stated, they still cheated in my book.

Lack of research before the marathon led the tv crew to believe there was a limited time in which they had to finish this race. So, near the end they packed the two "Losers" into a van and drove them closer to the finish. Why? Simply because they were worried that the finish line and all the fans would be gone. They had to have the perfect finish line photo.

Okay, seriously? You have two people running side by side with minimal marathon training and you expect them to finish in a rational time? You don't just run a marathon. Running 26+ miles is hard for even the most experienced runner. I was under the impression this show had experienced trainers to help these people lose weight. Is it possible that these "professional" trainers were not consulted or, in the more likely case, have no idea what they are doing and simply just make good television? What could the show's producers possibly have been thinking?

This part says it all:

"Dane said data from his heart-rate monitor told him he needed to slow down. The couple also stopped at every water station. At one, the TV crew asked the Pattersons to stop and talk about how the race was going. Temperatures climbed.

By the time Dane reached a water stop past mile 16, they’d fallen way off pace. He was exhausted, and a sub-six-hour finish was not going to happen. One of the producers proposed driving Dane and Carli up the road."

Running a marathon is hard work and it was hot in Arizona? Life is hard guys.

And that is the biggest problem. It is the thousands of excuses that are flying from everyone. From the producers pointing fingers when asked who changed their reported time from 5 hours to 3 (a completely unrealistic time for even the best runners) to the couple themselves saying that they just wanted to make people happy. Yeah. Everyone is really happy. You cheated and you lied.  And the kicker? Later the couple returned to the course and walked the 3 miles they got a ride for. How precious. Hey guys, I ran a collective 26.2 miles in seven days! I ran a marathon! I'm so proud of myself! Where is my medal?

After reading that article and seeing the clips cut together all the show wanted was the couple starting and the couple finishing. They wanted the banner and the fanfare. It is safe to assume the Patterson's could have run 10 feet collectively and still gotten a medal. Dane is quoted saying he will look at the medal as a 23 mile trophy. He just doesn't understand. That medal isn't placing. Its not even finishing. Its a "thanks for showing up you little scamp." Had anyone else pulled that stunt, they wouldn't get to keep the medal.

To sum up, the Biggest Loser has lived up to its name. It has sunk to a show going through the motions and thumbing their nose at things that take actual work. Congrats Biggest Loser, you are indeed the biggest losers.

Tune in next week on Project Runway when Heidi says a half finished skirt is FABULOUS!